Breathing

Back in november I quit my managing job, they have finaly found a replacement and I am finished as of this week.

I couldnt handle it, I think at another time in my life and with the proper medication, (just kidding, except not really) I could have done it but right now I just cant.

So right now I am feeling anxious and a little (or a lot) stressed out trying to finish everything that I should have had done a long time ago before I pass everything on to the new girl. She seems good and competent and I think that she will be able to do better then I did.

I have quite the range of mixed emotions over this. I feel bad for quitting, I wish I could have handled it better, if the year had gone differently for me I would not be where I am now. I wish I could have sucked it up and kept going and I could feel like I overcame something rather then giving up. I feel like I let people down. The money was good and it could have helped us get into a house a lot sooner.

On the other hand I am looking forward to not having the stress of a job that I cant leave at work, one that comes home with me every day because that is where it is. Im looking forward on concentrating on my own family and life and being able to get that where I want to be. I am happy that I will have less phone messages to check YAY, Im tired of phones and messages.

So here is to a new year with some unexpected changes, perhaps some different employment for me (give me a few months to decide on that one though) and some time spent with my family.

For now though I will just concentrate on breathing and putting one foot in front of another.